After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
