Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
What did we do last night that was yellow?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize