I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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