I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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