ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
