sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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