dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
