So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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