areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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