butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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