those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
