Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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