If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
