Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
