You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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