im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
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Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She swung at the pinata with crutches
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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