she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
