Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
