The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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