Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
