what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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