You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You can't special order awesome
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
