dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
