every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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