marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
