The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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