she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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