When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
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please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
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Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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