Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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