dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dignity is for republicans.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
