Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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