peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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