Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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