that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
