i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
