id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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