Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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