Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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