I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
