we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
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The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
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I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
don't judge my taste in strippers
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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