Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
