Swine flu. Run for my life!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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