You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
