ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
