why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize