Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
