If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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