I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
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ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
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No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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