lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
