I wanna bring you to show and tell
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
