he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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