when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
