so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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