I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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