I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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