Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
