Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
