I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
