She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
