I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
