He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
