R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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