And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
