Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.