she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
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Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
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I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.