Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
im calling her cock vulture from now on
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs