i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.