I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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