Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
