Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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