That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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