i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
