Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize