Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
