i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I pour the whiskey from now on
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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