Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
